It's over for now... She gave me back the ring... But you know what?  I still haven't given up.  I actually love her more now... She gave it back to me to end my misery, and I thank her for that.  I'm going to live my life without her, if atleast for a while.  I'm going to date other people, make new friends, become a better person.  I'm not hoping for another chance anytime soon, I'm not even looking at a chance in the next year or so.  I'm going to live, and some day, I'll come back.  I'll always love her, and she'll always love me.  I don't know when, but I'll come back to her, and I'll get that one last chance.  Until then, good bye, as this is the last entry this xanga site will see.  I love you Sean and I always will,  I'll be back and we'll give it another shot.  I don't expect you to keep a promise this time, but this is my promise to you, as you will always be the most important person in my life.  Enjoy your life, be happy, be safe, I'm one call away, and never lose your way.  And I'll remind you why you love me, some day.  It's been fun everyone, but you'll have to e-mail me if you want my new xanga ^_~.  Peace. Serena-chan, aishiteru, daisuki daisuki.  Sayoonara. 143 637.

*~JTchinoy~*

*~StandAloneComplex~*

Yay I woke up today and my whole day was ruined -_-''.  Waiting sucks... My mind's scrambled right now after the news this morning... It hurts... I guess morals crumble as you get older don't they?  I want to quit... but I'm not quitting... I want to take the easy way out, but I'm not... I want to break down, but I'm still standing... I want to disown the past, but I'm still holding it... I want to talk, but it hurts to speak... I want to regain it, but it's not my choice if I get it back or not... I don't want to care, but my heart cares... Have I matured yet?  A little.  Have I grown stronger?  Only physically.  Have I given up?  Hell no... Does she care?  You tell me.  Thanks everyone who talked to me, I wouldn't have been able to figure things out without you guys.  She may not care right now, but I'm still here, I'm still here.  Thanks Mike for showing me that anime series... it's like a parallel universe of my situation lol.

*~StandAloneComplex~*

I should change my alias to h2p(hip hop provider) or something, haha.  Amy wants some hip hop CD's too, so I let her borrow my cd from sophmore yeah >_>;;  I like that cd, it has the house version of "Are you that somebody"  by Aaliyah, you can only get that version if you own vinyl.  I had to record it myself from my bro's record to the computer >_>.  Damnit Jeff got away with paying for dinner again, cuz the restaurant only took cash -_-  we're eating at a place that takes credit cards next time!!! That way I can pay haha.  We went to Mcarthy Ranch and ate at the noodle house.  Chow fun, spicy chicken, and potstickers is goood.... mmmm... My bro's movie won't be showing until Feb, so gives me more time to get friends to come, haha. XD

*~StandAloneComplex~*

*~H2P~*

Jade is rich I swear >.<  We went shopping at Macy's in Newpark and she wants to get this $160 Rockawear jacket, holy fuck, that's like 1/3 my paycheck >_>.  She reserved it and is getting it tomorrow, blah, she can has Christopher take her to that.  I admire Christopher, he waits by her side, waiting for another chance, even when she dates other guys.  I want to help the guy out, but there's nothing  anybody can do.  It's Jade, haha.  The key to my Dad's P.O Box didn't work, so I'm kind of fucked there >_>  I have to figure out why not.  My bro's movie is supposed to play in SJSU this weekend, but I don't have anymore info beyond that AND I WANT TO WATCH!!!!  I have 3 requests for new Hip hop CD's, anyone else want to request some? >_>;;  All Cds I give is 1 hip hop and 1 slow song, you ALWAYS get 2 CDs, haha.  I still need to make a new slow CD for myself now that I think about it.  All I have on me is a busted slow CD I was supposed to replace for Sean, well I gave her my most recent slow CD, so I have none for myself!!!  I need to make a new one of songs I won't tire of quickly.  If I like my song choice for it, eveyrone I give cds to gets a copy of it, haha.  I'll be changing the song soon to one that makes waiting for her not feel so long.  I'll put it up tomorrow, since I'm DLing right now and uploading takes forever -_-.  O shit I have a Japanese quiz tomorrow!!  I have to study during Pre-calc I guess.  Ima do my leg lifts now, so l8.  Oh yeah, been DLing Bob Marley like crazy today haha, I'll probably put some of that up sometime too.

*~StandAloneComplex~*

Okay 3/7 of my friends in Jap class are certified anime freaks -_-.  For our Class presentation, we have to kill 10 minutes, so 1 of them memorized the seals for Zabuza's Water dragon and the other guy is saying we do that then explain the seals.  I thought about it and was like you idiot, half the seals are tori (bird).  It would be funny though, after he finishes, we make a paper machet water dragon lol.  The 3rd one is a full metal alchemist freak who won't let me borrow her pirated version of the movie -_-''.  She just laughs and shakes her head at us, like oh god i'm not going to acknowledge you guys, haha.  Kelsey got me a link to this DJ's downloading place.  He has some long ass mixes up, like 6 or so and they're all an hour 20 minutes each, so fuuuuck.  If you guys wanna hear some of it, or you want me to burn me some, hit me up and gimme some CD's lol.  I only have 2 done so far, I need to download the other 4 >_>  they take like 40 minutes to DL cuz they're all file transfers through AIM -_-.  I wanna go to Tekken tonight, but I have to get my Dad's business mail, cuz I haven't gotten it in like 3 months =X  All the bills are in there.  That's all for now.

*~StandAloneComplex~*